Search for wisdom like lost treasure and you will find it.

May, 2021 12:00 AM HST - Posted by Jason

May 2021 Quotes

May 1, 2021

India’s COVID-19 surge has occurred after millions of pilgrims bathed in the already filthy Ganges River on April 12, 2021 for Kumbh Mela. Before they did it I said, “How do you get people from bathing in a dirty river?”

You will regret thinking you could control me, God

Some people do little more than stay alive.

“I loved your rolls.” - mom to me about me before 8th grade

When I was a kid my father taught me to howl like a coyote.

Sometimes my mom would take me away from whatever my dad was doing to me. Sometimes I’d resist and they would compromise.

My family said I would be the last Gastrich male unless I fathered a boy, but some of them did not seriously consider that I might change my name.

My uncle Casey and my dad got into an intense disagreement one holiday about something. I had never seen my uncle so angry.

I have done all I can to avoid using iCloud by turning it off on all devices, but it turned Maps on.

Time is on my side, God

I think China’s xinhuanet.com was unblocked under the Biden administration.

May 2, 2021

How many times can you get PTSD?

He’s the kind of person that would hurt me and make a joke about it. My mom would be appalled and say she doesn’t think it’s funny.

Some people want change without changing.

Reportedly, 8 million people die a year from pollution.

I’ve been transformed, but religious people have been tickled.

May 3, 2021

A couple of years ago I put an advertisement in Craigslist in Hawaii for a room for rent that uses solar power. Nobody replied, but my electricity is powered by solar now.

When two LAPD officers abused me in Los Angeles in front of my hotel room for no reason, I was living in Long Beach, California which is in Los Angeles County, so I filed a criminal complaint in the downtown Long Beach courthouse. However, they moved to it to San Pedro and after the sheriff couldn’t (or wouldn’t) serve the other sheriff (“A. Wright”) which was the suspect (he was the boss of the two suspects, but the only name I got) it was dismissed without prejudice. Not sure if there is a statute of limitations or not, but the dirty cops’ handcuff scar and nerve damage may be the only evidence I need.

I don’t want to hear you say I love you before you say I love me.

Sometimes the most desperate man wins, but only if she feels pity.

I resent pity.

I unashamedly love myself.

While they relate to me they relate to everybody, Jesus

I like my meat slapped senseless before I eat it. That’s what she said.

There’s nothing that a bender can’t make worse.

May 4, 2021

My dad taught me to feel for the homeless.

My mom told me to avoid trying to change my father. She said he is stubborn and he won’t do it.

I did not open my blinds for an entire day and the next day before I could open them birds were obnoxiously chirping outside and I wondered if they missed me.

May 5, 2021

If your delusion does not involve you making positive changes immediately, then we could do without it.

When the WiFi goes out, I have YouTube Premium videos to see and a radio to hear BBC at 1 a.m. My Spotify Premium playlists are on my iPod, so it’s not the end of the world. One of my devices has a data plan just in case too.

You can only falsify what I say in your duplicitous mind.

May 6, 2021

The first time I recall smoking marijuana was when I was 16 years old. Chris Burns had a joint and pulled it out in my car, so my girlfriend Sonja Harriman and I smoked it with him. We were already buzzed from drinking, so I got the spins and Chris drove.

The second time I recall smoking marijuana was with Jimmy Allen at a party. We also listened to U2’s Joshua Tree album as we hotboxed. I smoked some pot with Jack Howard and Ray Reaga too. All of these guys went to Valhalla High School and I met them after getting thrown out of Christian High School.

In college a lot of people smoked weed without any consequences in the San Diego State University dorms. It was there in my freshman year that I could use it in peace by myself without alcohol and enjoy its effects. However, until that point I only tried it a few times and rarely had much time to enjoy it.

I bet Jesus’s saving money, so he can return and rent a studio, God

Does AP Style apply in outer space?

A nuclear winter would hinder solar panels and the use of solar energy.

Talar may tell the truth if you press her, but there is no chance in hell that Sarine is getting any of it right. In fact, that’s why I wrote it all down in a book called, “The Wrong Side” before I left.

Some people like to employ people that they can manipulate.

Americans use God to control people.

The more you rely on yourself the more you can relax.

So we can never get rid of Donald Trump and he started a blog?

You’re horrible and you’re staying horrible.

When I lived on the street in Long Beach, California, in 2012-2014 I emailed somebody special like 1,000 times. After she got engaged to somebody famous, I stopped emailing her. Also, I deleted all the emails because I sent them from my Gmail account/server and I did not want anybody else to read them. She probably has them and she can do what she wants with them. They’re mostly hilarious, supportive, loving and kind, I think.

My reset involved choosing who else I was going to love.

If I have enemies they must be lame.

May 7, 2021

Imagine if the falling Chinese rocket hits Washington and they’re just like shrug emoji.

Maybe we should make a rule that you can’t stick stuff in space unless you can safely (and cleanly) remove it.

Somehow they got you to continually use your imagination.

That feeling when you are writing a story and have no idea how people will feel about the characters, but it may not be the way that you feel.

I need to read the books I’ve written, God

Ever wanna wander off?

In addition to a bucket list, I need to make a wander off list.

My father would say “true” like I won something on a game show sometimes when I said something correct to him.

The CDC said that vaccinated people could go outdoors without a mask, but I think non-vaccinated people might use the opportunity to avoid wearing a mask. It could result in the spread of COVID-19.

May 8, 2021

Nobody tolerates being ignored like an only child.

Some Americans complain about their tax money paying for something, but usually only a few cents goes to it. Sometimes they have a moral objection, but you can’t decide where your taxes go.

Do you think you can justify the way you treat people if you treat people based on how they treat others?

Some people that use people fly under the radar because they recognize bigger users.

There are two types of people. Those that like to antagonize others and those that don’t.

Before the World Wide Web, my parents were the www.

My parents provided a lot of laughs and funny memories. I should probably dwell on them more often because it was a pretty charmed childhood.

“Look at what you’re doing to him.” - mom to dad when his words and behavior produced a naturally glazed over look or who knows I never exactly understood that one

“You talk to people like you’re above them.” - dad to me on his barstool while watching TV and looking at me side-eye on the sofa

Some country folk don’t care for city slickers.

She may be a dumb, wrong liar and a sweet person.

I don’t believe your bullshit persona.

If somebody believes your lie or humors you, it does not make it true.

The more you say the less I believe.

I have subdued the seen and the unseen.

The pope is barely palatable, but the people under him are insufferable.

Sometimes I wonder if people are lying or foolishly believing and repeating lies.

Let me invalidate you.

Sometimes the people that should be proud of you are actually jealous.

May 10, 2021

There is nothing like horrendous leaders that have no control of themselves trying to control others for their twisted agenda. Nothing else like it.

Just because a child listens to you it doesn’t mean you are a good leader. Children will listen to anyone.

I would rather be right than wealthy.

My dad told me that I should never lie to myself and if I did I would suffer.

May 11, 2021

Whenever you hear terrible singing near you give it a few minutes. Terrible singers don’t practice singing and they have weak voices, so they probably won’t last more than 30 minutes. An experienced singer that knows how to take care of his voice knows how to sing for hours though.

The frequency that the media reports on something does not dictate or indicate the frequency that it happens, its importance or its relevance.

Don’t ever lose sight of what’s actually wrong with the U.S. Lots of gullible people believe and trust lots of liars and fools in concert.

May 12, 2021

My Christian parents disagreed in front of me on whether or not the voices that my dad hears in his head are from God or not. When I was little he told me that the voice I heard in my head which was simply my conscience was God’s voice and it would always be there and it would sound like his voice. He is sick and wrong and he should get help just like my mom repeatedly told him.

I think we might be a little too what’s the word for it stupid for giving $100 million to people that rub shit on themselves, sell us pills that don’t work, bathe in a repulsive river and believe oodles of wonky religious shit. It may be throwing good money after bad. Why can’t we ever shoot straight with people from the top down in way that wakes them the hell up?

It’s amazing how cavalier people are being about the gasoline pipeline hack.

Imagine if this is the new cycle; unrepentance after righteous judgment leading to immense suffering and loss due to a virus. Imagine if that was what we had to go through again and again.

How do people normally respond to your disrespect?

There’s a chance that she’s thinking about you; not a good chance, but a chance.

My mom said the law made my father wear his seatbelt. She was referring to the way that he refused to wear a seatbelt until it became a law in California in 1968.

Bias typically separates the humans that people worship, tolerate and despite.

Israel never responds in-kind and their heavy-handed approach always ups the ante.

I am not preoccupied with killing you, but I know who is.

We don’t need or deserve to deal with your lies.

A diagnosis is not a weapon.

He tried to get me hooked on his drug, but I would not take the bait.

Worrying about what people think does not help art.

May 13, 2021

If it’s obvious that God is intent on relentlessly torturing the hell out of somebody already until no end, then why bother murdering them? Wouldn’t you be doing them a favor?

Don’t get the seemingly inevitable effects of aging mixed up with the ways that you have caused and accelerated your own aging.

I have not used a cutting board or an umbrella in about a decade.

Their songs are nostalgic and needy and their jokes are instructive.

Old people look ridiculous on smartphones.

Wherever I don’t see you, I am stoked, God

Were you actually wrong two dozen times before you realized that you were wrong once?

The body encounters pain and deals with it, but as a rule it is bent on healing; a constant healing machine.

People that intensely love their fame and possessions can make others jealous of them.

My pains can’t be my only voice.

It looks like yesterday again to the self-actualizer

. My parents let a lot of people get away with hurting me.

It’s funny how you fear me because you should actually fear yourself the most, God

May 14, 2021

Repeating something over and over is like wearing acrylic nails. It actually says the opposite of what you expect it to say.

Powerful people do not repeat themselves. Weak people do.

If processed sugar is addictive and your gut microbiome craves it, then it sounds like entrapment to me. I think some people don’t have a fighting chance against it.

Should fat, ugly people be in charge of mask mandates?

If fat, ugly germaphobes are in charge of mask mandates we might be wearing masks for a very long time.

I imagine Republicans will start losing elections because they think the voting system is rigged against them and you have to be a fucking moron to live under that system when you can freely leave.

If I wasn’t right now, then I’d still be wrong.

I can trace my two biggest childhood sports injuries directly to my father’s foolishness and poor decision-making.

Sometimes you don’t feel the pain until later.

How many people’s guts do you rightfully hate?

I think my hair began improving an inch or two ago.

You marry an awful weapon when you get awful advice.

I had a process outdoors and it evolved and the process is a little different indoors. It always varies though.

I hope there is a God that will deal with religious people because I can’t, Jesus

Almost everything sounds like an advertisements to me.

May 15, 2021

Everybody wonders what God’s voice sounds like.

Layne Staley sang Rain When I Die with Alice in Chains, but reportedly he died alone of a drug overdose and his body was found days later, so nobody knows if it rained when he died or not.

Republicans that brag about Donald Trump getting more votes than any other Republican presidential candidate and say that there was widespread voter fraud seem mentally ill.

What is dumber than turning down free money from the federal government? What’s worse than preventing your constituents from getting free federal money?

May 16, 2021

Most Christians turn eisegesis into a sport.

I bet Rome hated the Bereans.

Tell me what the difference is between a prophecy and a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The guy down the hallway with narcissistic personality disorder is finding it increasingly difficult to lie to himself and others about his greatness in my presence because I am much greater than he is.

I told the crazy old man down the hallway, “I hope those words make sense in your head because they make no sense to me.”

The crazy old man down the hallway breaks the ethical, state and federal laws all the time, but texted me, “I don’t do illegal acts” like a jackass.

The more jacked up people I meet with biblical names the more I wonder if they would be as jacked up without one.

My support system is stronger than yours will ever be because my support system is me.

Repeat offenders and belligerent assholes don’t understand that a righteous judgment is forever.

I’ll let my fingers do the talking.

I imagine bullshit theories and cockamamy nonsense comes home to roost when you are old.

Did your parents have a plan for your life?

The old dude with narcissistic personality disorder is getting worse. “Talk therapy” is what is recommended and he is a terrible communicator that does not want to talk. Go figure.

Self-actualizers don’t care whether or not you’re on board.

May 17, 2021

If you have anything of value to contribute online, then consider uploading it to your website and not just social media. A social media company can ban you from their platform (and your content disappears), but it is harder for a company you pay like GoDaddy to remove you and your content. Even if you did something egregious and GoDaddy banned you (which is rare unless you do illegal stuff), then you could easily move your content elsewhere. However, it is not so easy (or impossible) if your content is on a social media platform.

I don’t mind shooting fish in a barrel when the fish thinks its God.

President Joe Biden, Why don’t you defund the pentagon? Your military, your religion and your government created people like Tom Cotton. Sure he is a Republican, but it would not be hard to find some Democrats that think and talk the same way.

The Republicans vilify every international organization that does not lie like they do; the World Health Organization, the International Criminal Court, the United Nations, etc. If they can’t get away with their nonsense, then they will throw the organization under the bus. They do not want a level playing field. They want what they want.

I use a VPN for my security and websites make me jump through hoops to identify myself for their security. It is easier to use their app, but some of those wants extra verification too.

Wanting others to believe your lie does not make it true even if you want them to believe it very badly.

There was no dancing at my wedding.

Addicts of a feather flock together.

An elderly person on a smartphone looks like a bear with a tennis racket.

There are no pronouns in my life; only names.

This is not junior high school.

It may be gone now, but you saw it whether you responded or not.

He will justify what he did because of the time and money he spent.

He’s not doing you any favors and he will rip you off if given the chance.

When I articulate how and why I am engaged and connected it will remind you that you are disconnected and rarely resonate.

Healthy Americans need to remind people that they are healthy because there are so many unhealthy people.

I judge people on how well they answer questions, God

The only thing I can’t do is act, God

High school Drama class made me nervous and I dropped it after one class. However, I recently recalled how and why it went down and I remembered that I wasn’t allowed to pursue acting due to my dad, but my parents disagreed.

May 18, 2021

Steve Bannon looks like he just ate bacon off a hooker’s ass and needs a cigarette.

Polarization and tribalism sell.

I think I could have enjoyed a long marriage with Jennifer Shepherd. She was my amazing college girlfriend. There is one reason why it didn’t work: religion.

It doesn’t look like the Center For Disease Control and the federal government’s mask mandate was informed by the number of people that have been vaccinated. It looks like they are rushing and it could result in a surge in 2019 Novel Coronavirus cases.

If the U.S. gives away or sells vaccines before everybody gets one I wonder if it will be to our biggest tourists.

Careful is not a state of being. It is a lifestyle.

I am using the best toilet paper and paper towels that I can buy; unbleached and recycled.

Sad, pathetic people that live in a state of depression upset me.

It seems like zero people are aware of the joy that I routinely experience.

I think Dr. Fauci is getting increasingly frustrated and exasperated with conservatives especially when they propose wild theories and won’t wear masks or get vaccinated.

The GOP dislikes universal healthcare and many of their constituents are avoiding vaccines and masks.

Members of Congress should draft a long-term budget that slowly pulls the U.S. out of its $28 trillion debt.

Your tiff does not make you more important than others.

May 19, 2021

There are a remarkably small number of gun deaths in the U.S. in relation to the number of guns that are in circulation.

I support high-speed railways and a power grid with renewable energy to power them. Autonomous vehicles are stupid.

In my opinion they should build and implement a door-to-door, rail system in the U.S. that operates on clean energy. Driving is obviously too dangerous. Burning gasoline is obviously foolish.

When your reporter says, “I believe” I change the channel.

When I was homeless and newly unreligious, I crashed on the doorstep of two Methodist churches once or twice because they accepted medical marijuana without hesitation even though the Southern Baptist Convention (including my home church Shadow Mountain) rejected it. Thank you. They probably never knew I was even there.

Being afraid of the inmates does not mean they run the asylum.

Don’t quit your day job.

God was sooooo “great” that Jesus left his kingdom and slept on the street and that’s all you really know about him.

Some people are healing with medicine you have never seen.

I wish your Facebook account would tell you how many times I visit your page.

Fail quieter.

“I miss your dead dad.” - rejected pickup lines

Why are there zero Christian songs about being in hell?

My high school guidance counselor must have forgotten about the adult entertainment industry.

My self-talk does not compete with anybody.

Do you know what it sounds like when a grown man shakes his ass?

NBC should reboot The Biggest Loser with Donald Trump as host.

For the number of judges that Trump appointed across the country it’s telling that they didn’t overturn elections after finding voter fraud.

Imagine if I sued Christian High School in El Cajon, California for hiring unqualified coaches whose gross negligence led to my injuries on their sports fields. Do you think many others would join me? I remember others that got hurt. If people were honest, we would probably have a class-action lawsuit.

When the veil covering the Holy of Holies was torn vertically it symbolized the way the Temple Mount would be split in half.

May 20, 2021

If you are a doctor, please expose your ignorance about the effects of organic extra virgin olive oil infused with kief on a wound that healed over a staph infection. Please tell me all about it all y’all. I’ll wait. Alternatively, I could tell you.

If people wrote a book about a magical homeless person today, would you believe it?

All I can tell you is that you are used to dealing with addicts, enablers and people that can’t transcend anything.

I may adapt “Walk Like an Egyptian” and sing “Walk Like an Asshole” in honor of a fool.

I am fasting today which means I am not eating any food.

If you thought a religion that relishes in failure would not produce a nation of people that did the same thing, then you are a fool.

As soon as I think you have redeeming value I will let you know.

If you burn gasoline and coal and eat food that is not organic, I will never take an interest in you.

You sin more in your sleep than I do all day.

A fairly cordial, elderly, Chinese-American neighbor that I diagnosed with borderline personality disorder pulled a knife on somebody and threatened to throw hot oil on a child. Now she’s living elsewhere for at least a month or two (in some sort of social services incarceration I think) and may return on medication according to the property owner. It’s just one big happy family here...

A few days before this happened she either wandered off or got lost on her way home. The police picked her up in the bushes after midnight and the officer was very unhappy that he had to be bothered. I heard him at 1 a.m. arguing with the owner because I had to make sure it wasn’t a punk.

If you get upset when others are happy you’re probably going to be upset very infrequently.

I am learning how to live off-the-grid by living off-the-grid.

Other countries don’t accept free passes. Do they?

Why doesn't God think about you?

It stinks that Twitter ended Periscope.

You want whistles and bells. How about I put my face on every page?

I will cross you off like a black cat.

Imagine if condemnation due to your diet was embedded in every judgment, God

My father knew I loved music so much that he may have never enjoyed music around me to deter me from becoming a musician.

My private music teacher said I was a prodigy, but I wasn’t allowed to play the guitar and my dad discouraged my singing.

When I was a kid my mom said my dad used to like music.

My dad loathed when people laughed at him especially my mom. I was forbidden which made it awkward when my close friends routinely made fun of him to me usually in the safety of their home. He scared people.

I liked connecting with journalists on Twitter. They knew interesting things and shared things with me that I didn't know in a public forum where we could discuss it.

Sometimes I won't read what you write if I won't reply. Also, sometimes I won't watch your video if I can't comment on it.

May 21. 2021

Israel does not want autonomous neighbors and their government is content with maiming them.

Bitcoin fluctuates more than currency in a third world country.

If cryptocurrency relies on fiat money and fluctuates like crazy why would anybody want to buy it?

When people being duped refuse to give up their biases they continued to be duped.

I told my best friend that I would never talk to him again if he uses Gmail because I quit their free service and stopped using Google search because they are bozos. They will not read my emails and I won’t let them use me.

100% of cigarette smokers are losers.

Not Charging is rude and dishonest.

I will have the last say, God

Follow the truth and love it. It will never let you down.

"I see you itching your scalp, so I recommend blah, blah, blah."
"Wow. I'm flipping you off now. What do you recommend?"
- response to off-topic, unsolicited advice

The only thing laughable about me is the way I used to be.

I am a million times scarier than all of you, but you don't have to find out right now, God

I will set my intention and it will not include dying.

Feel it out.

They know I am coming their way and they are preparing people for me again.

May 22, 2021

I am everything without you.

At no time have I feared him even though he has continually feared me.

Rreligious schools are terrible.

Do people always think they're better than they are?

Does Capitol security need to be beefed up? They were warned about the potential for problems on January 6, but they declined to ask for reinforcements in advance. Right?

Reportedly, over 4,000 Hamas rockets from Gaza killed 13 Israelis in May 2021.

Since the Gaza strip and West Bank are disconnected have they considered a 3-state solution?

I think UFOs are sighted by military pilots for several reasons and one of them is to try to justify their budget. Remember there is always a useful idiot and a patsy.

Imagine if COVID-19 vaccinations did little good because the people that get it would have been the most careful and responsible people and probably would not have caught it or spread it anyway.

The liberal government and mainstream media may not give conservatives a lot of chances to jump on board before they throw them under the bus.

President Biden said there won't be peace until the region recognizes Israel's statehood. However, a region can't speak. Perhaps he should have specified who he wants to change. Maybe he can send Catholic missionaries or something.

Now look who's pissing in bottles.

It's a good time to be a cue cards guy.

Apparently, he was content on harming me or letting others harm me any way that he could get away with.

I hope people with terrible judgment don't expect their judgment to be taken seriously.

Perhaps aliens have not contacted your leaders because they are religious and aliens obviously have no religion and would prefer to avoid dangerous, reckless, biased people that are full of shit.

Imagine if Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates got married.

Guess what. Space exploration always confirms the evolutionist’s bias.

Was it easier to take away Australians’ gun rights because they descended from prisoners and Americans came from fierce warriors?

People that look down their nose at people for doing what they must do to survive are assholes.

I think drinking organic apple cider vinegar daily could help a person with a processed sugar addiction. I think it would kill the gut microbes that expect sugar.

My dad said if I miss a spot on my back while bathing it is because I am negligent because I have long arms and he observed me reaching its entirety.

May 23, 2021

If you’re fat and ugly, let’s be best friends, God

Just because you don’t like what somebody does it does not give you the license to harm them or their belongings.

Oh yeah. There are kids flushing their talents down the toilet because of your wonky religion.

I love the people that dropped songs that meant something to me when I lived on the street.

Hope that God cares less about earth than you do.

The Israeli government is undoing Christianity.

I already miss you.

I go back and forth on my leg.

Some people are afraid to be friends because they think they will feel accountable to somebody.

Some people are more dangerous than they realize.

May 24, 2021

When I was a kid my dad said that everybody gains weight when they get older. However, he said it was a choice and he thought that I would actually get leaner as I get older.

I used to like RT a lot, but it has gotten worse. Manila Chan and Rachel Blevins are good, but x and x are an acquired taste. I enjoy the unique stories they cover, but they tend to have a conservative spin.

If I need to know how to turn my teeth brown or get the hair to fall out of my head I know who to ask.

My dad caused me to have an aversion to needles because he didn’t want me to be a junkie.

It’s almost a success story.

Imagine how the Jews must feel. They know how much everybody loves stories, so they gave us the story of Jesus and people adored it for a long time.

I can make your hands clap That’s what God said.

It’s cool that I am starting to get my story ideas after Saturday Night Live’s season ended.

I got ewe.

Sometimes I feel like they are beaming my words into everybody’s head, God

Some people have always felt like they are behind.

It sounds like America’s dad roofied a bunch of women and is serving a prison term. Seems about right.

When I lived in Maui in 2020, an elderly lady was badly coughing at Down to Earth in Kahului. We were sitting at tables by each other, so I jumped up and left. After I got up she told me she was ok and just got over a cold. I did not want to risk it because I just got over a cold too. I think it was in February and it may have been COVID-19. The 2019 Novel Coronavirus was unknown to us at the time, so I figured we had different illnesses and I didn’t want to catch hers.

Congratulations. You have finally evolved into a junior high school girl.

When they said “squeezies” on Saturday Night Live it reminded me how that was a girl’s name for her boobs that I visited in Fresh Meadows, Queens almost two decades ago.

Christians misunderstand Antichrist’s sexuality and Muslims misunderstand his vision.

After I got over my illness in February 2020 an elderly lady was coughing badly at a table by me at Down to Earth in Kahului, Maui. I got up and left immediately, but she said she was ok and already over it. I just got over a bad cold which could have been the 2019 Novel Coronavirus and a relapse and I did not want to take any chances. I thought she had something else because her cough was so bad. COVID-19 was unknown to us at the time.

I like reading Fox News teasers on YouTube, so I can swear at them in my head and keep scrolling.

They didn’t let you run amok. They didn’t know how to stop you.

May 25, 2021

UAP (aka UAF) has the same built-in assumption that UFO does, but what is being seen is not necessarily flying. If they can’t prove what it is, then they certainly can’t prove it is flying. USO sounds more appropriate which means Unidentified Sighted Object.

My African American friend and neighbor Amber, 30, from Georgia said she thinks Menthols should be illegal, but she said cigarettes should be illegal too. She smokes a few cigarettes a day and has been trying to quit.

The government is poor at running businesses and services, but it is important to remember that the Post Office is a service and not a business.

I think some jealous people will harm others.

Imagine somebody increasingly hating you every minute of every day.

My only regret is not kicking his ass.

If your parent ever hits you, beat the tar out of them without hesitation like a wild animal until the police arrive.

It has your pathetic name on the page, so what do you think?

They may not use my joke, but they will know the topic is on the table.

If the U.S. counted COVID-19 deaths like Russia there would be far fewer of them attributed to the disease.

Do you know how flu deaths are calculated?

Some people act like they’re looking for the next person to hate.

I am getting stronger even in the midst of weakness.

Take every sound captive.

I’d delete anything for love, but I won’t delete that.

Take a walk.

During one of Pink Floyd’s songs about a lunatic they played a video of George Bush, Sr. at their 1994 concerts. I was there and it’s on YouTube now.

There is a chance that your normal is disgusting and wrong.

It is hard to waste time when you multi-task.

I love us more than you love yourself, God

She was either a bitch or being a bitch. Time will tell.

Sometimes it takes a while to dream bigger.

If God exists, God may cause suffering or be indifferent to it.

Don’t worry about what it isn’t.

Pity a loser.

My father used to fill his cheeks with air to indicate somebody was fat and my mom would say stop and he’d roll his eyes and make hand gestures usually in private.

“Leave him alone!” - mom to dad periodically

My dad said outrageous things to me when I was a kid and I had to respectfully listen until my mom intervened.

The problem with religion is it keeps repeating itself.

I probably would have fought in criminal court if I didn’t already lose in juvenile court. They somehow convinced me to focus on the criminal case although that theory makes sense for a man. They said the system is rigged against men in juvenile court.

Look at needing to leave as an adventure.

I love myself and that actually matters and makes a difference.

What a disaster you have brought upon yourself.

I don’t just not believe in your God. I hate your God.

Nowadays “God” can refer to a man that nobody has met.

I didn’t want a mullet until North Korea banned them.

Since 2012 I have relocated 10 times.

In my mind I am already there.

May 26, 2021

There should be a no-hassle option for people that don’t give a flying fuck about internet security sometimes.

If you do not want to hear about somebody getting murdered I respect that.

Self-employed people work differently.

I have never had insomnia. I have always worked hard to stay awake.

If Donald Trump was president he would have knocked COVID-19 out of the news by now.

How can I add value to this place?

Religious-based visions are nonsense and I don’t want to hear about anybody’s.

When I was a kid it was a sign of affluence to have a mom that stayed at home. This meant the dad made plenty of money to support the family. In some family units this meant the wife was the sole homemaker and the husband was the sole breadwinner.

Sometimes my dad listed people that hated him and he would laugh and my mom would tell him to stop. He did this like everything else sitting in his barstool watching TV in the living room while I was sitting on the sofa or in my room.

Maybe we must rise up because they won’t.

My father may have been named after a floating casino that was used by the mob in the early to mid-1900s. My grandpa was a badass and had a sense of humor. He might also have been named after an Italian ocean liner that was sunk in World War II.

Get adults to take better care of children and they may not need pain meds when they get older.

My mom questioned whether or not paper could beat rock.

Sometimes my mom acted like Seinfeld.

May 27, 2021

Religious people waste everything.

My mom gave up in life when she was obese and said she was getting a new body in heaven. She was wrong and my Christian parents disgustingly failed miserably together and my father is continuing in the tradition of filthy failure.

Nowadays “God” is ambiguous because a lot of morons will call a human being God even if they have never met him.

If you include the county LA Woman includes a lot of women.

It’s interesting to see how they control you.

There is a way to respectfully stand up to somebody.

I play everything by ear, God

I observed it. I said it. Let’s move on.

I said one-cent wisdom today? Did I coin that phrase?

Our goal in the Arctic should be to keep it frozen?

Mothballs are not cologne.

Sometimes I have premonitions.

My penis has never been better and it was great before.

My father was emphatic, Jesus

I am not trying to show you up, but I am trying to be perfect, Jesus

Sometimes I stick Jesus in there. Sometimes Christ or God even.

There are so many shiny objects.

Young people aren’t giving up.

We need to be arms with the truth and dispel lies.

Is your truth a lie?

“What does everybody wanna watch? Ok it’s Biodome again!” - Baldwin family reunion

You can’t resist that stuff. It seems so real. Religion.

It’s not enough to know which counties have U.S. extradition treaties, but you need to know whose airspace you’re in if you’re leaving under duress or something.

Criticizing somebody does not necessarily increase your stock because anybody can do it.

Who doesn’t want to look like a crackhead?

My mom’s favorite soft drink was Dr. Pepper. My dad’s favorite was Coke and I drank both.

Does she make you dance, sing and create though?

An asshole can turn a nice person into a mean person.

People only get parts of stories around here.

May 28, 2021

How are President Biden’s cabinet picks doing? If they are anything except criminals without governing experience we are probably making progress.

Old people are reaping what they sow, so do they really need another hell too, God

Old people are the worst examples.

Liberal mask-shamers should be so ashamed of their carbon footprint that they hide their face.

What you are doing destroys the world and it does not save the world and that is one reason why you are not like Jesus.

Quarantine comedians, don’t fire your writers because without them you’re nothing

The more you must repeat something the weaker person you are. Only the pathetic and the powerless must repeat themselves. Every time you repeat something you are weaker than you were before.

It won’t be too difficult to get people that are proud of garbage to be proud of nonsense.

Imagine if you are actually none of the things that you think you are.

Not enough bad things are said about religion.

They will never understand how much you hate them if you keep using them.

Religion is stupid around the world.

Some fathers do not want a relationship with their kids. Perhaps God is that type of God.

“He won’t know what to believe.” - mom to dad

There are a lot of people in prison.

Your decisions determine the way that you will age.

Sometimes you must kill it alone.

Does Jesus see the return key and chuckle like I am?

The meek hardly even hear the murmurs of the fearful.

“Don’t get any on me.” - college roommate

I should write a book or blog on Claytonisms.

Chris and I dissected religion.

Sometimes medical treatment makes it better or worse or has no effect. It’s always a calculated risk.

If you can improve your body’s circulation, then do it.

What can’t endorphins treat?

May 29, 2021

If they can get you to be upset about bullshit, then you won’t be upset about what you need to be upset about.

Some parents use and manipulate their children.

Have you happened to ask God whether or not there are any caveats in your inheritance?

Liberals are pressured to be more liberal, but so is everybody else.

They always want white, straight males to support every team except their own.

Liars lie to get what they want.

If you need something from somebody they can control you.

There are no limits on how angry a person can get about nothing.

How far is contrarian nonsense getting you?

Americans have a storied tradition of talking trash about the powerful and the powerful ignoring them completely.

I’m not into one-upmanship.

The bad guys win all the time.

They’re the type of yo-yos that will end up talking about you when you’re not around.

Have you asked God whether or not there’s are any caveats in your inheritance? Ask him about the mortgage.

Liars lie to get what they want.

There are no limits on how angry somebody can get about nothing.

I couldn’t have done it without me.

How can I make amends for something I didn’t do?

He hated her uniqueness, but I liked it.

Somebody that’s in nobody’s head thinks they’re in everybody’s head.

How should I occupy my time away from hateful dummies, Jesus

You can hate me, but I am still going to love you just from a distance, God

Give me every organic apple and orange you have.

Do your best or your worst. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.

Cross your fs.

“Don’t confuse him.” - dad to mom about me

I’ll tell you about it if you ever ask me, but you won’t and you’ll assume.

If you hear the fools you can confirm they’re fools.

They want to modify your behavior.

“He knew.” - dad

Some people lie like a sport.

Spend some time marveling at assholes.

Some people have a low standard for cleanliness.

Sometimes the losers win.

The bad guys win a lot.

May 30, 2021

30-something intellectuals are anything but intellectual.

Consider that your team may be stupid and mentally ill.

You become loser when you see the truth and keep following a lie.

Would you rather trust a balding man about hair care products, a scrawny man about building muscles or a woman with chicken pox scars on her face about self-control?

Confront gossip.

Shout out to Engine #1 (aka end djinn one).

They mock Christians when they sing “electric” (elect trick).

They wanted me to be the next Billy Graham, but I may end up making Christopher Hitchens look like him.

When you’re young it can be difficult to determine whether or not your father is a bad person and if he is one you don’t want to admit it.

My father is the biggest loser.

Suffice it to say by the time Jesus ran away again as an adult he did not care for his parents or his stepparents. Being homeless without learning the family trade was a pretty good sign and so was refusing to see his mother Mary until he was literally dying and she came.

I think Americans bonded in 2020 during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic indoors watching the news and seeing Brian Stelter’s forehead grow.

I think that some science types are lying by omission regarding the alleged UFO sightings because they know there is no way in hell that they’re alien spacecrafts from outer space for several strong reasons. Frankly, it’s too far away from habitable planets and if they had the technology to get here we would never detect them unless they wanted us to and they would need a motive.

I’d rather laugh at you than fight you, but I can do both.

People that can’t articulate sit at the kiddie table.

Isolation is what you make it.

Some rich people are not very smart.

M father wasted my time and life, Jesus

I was the strongest and most mature person in the room just like always, God

So your dog can bark, but I can’t!?

Fools plot revenge, but living better and doing more is the best revenge.

On Thursday I played Katy Perry’s Thinking of You on acoustic guitar as a warmup and later I noticed that she dropped a new live performance on Sunday.

Don’t let somebody’s low standard for health kill you.

I forgot to dream about you disappearing, but I want to forget you too, Jesus

Some jokes miss because I am not in their regime.

If they tell us it’s a charade is it still one?

Surround yourself with babies and you can hear crying all the time.

Hundreds of guitar and bass tabs that I perfected for teaching music lessons (my occupation for 10 years) were stolen in 2011 when my dad broke into my house and my in-laws and neighbors ransacked it. Now I will have to write them again and it will take years.

I will burn your book when you die.

Rehearse something else.

You can’t even follow the golden rule.

“I knew you’d look better at night.” - rejected pickup lines

I’m stoked we’re not friends because it would damage me more than you.

“Try out a few indignant angles and see if anybody gives a fuck.” - your 30s

Increase the handful of thoughts you think you’re capable of.

I could have brought people together with music rather than divide them with religion.

Everything I have ever said about my father has been way too generous and charitable, Jesus

“Why don’t you make a candle that smells like a penis?” - question for Chris Martin

I suspect your father was a terrible person too.

You’re nuts if you think any God wants anything to do with you.

I can’t say terrible enough times to describe you.

My parents were uneducated to put it nicely.

When morons get rich it is a shame when they think it justifies their foolishness.

Some people have no trouble interfering with others.

May 31, 2021

If Donald Trump does not win in 2024, then how will criminals find jobs again?

I don’t care what you believe and I think you should get into the habit of saying the same exact thing.

People with no evidence for their claims find clever reasons why it is not necessary.

Since the evolution of species falls outside the realm of observable science is it actually science at all? It seems more like a religious belief to me.

Almost everybody has been remarkably patient about openly burning pollutants even to their own detriment.

If we encourage North Korea’s nuke program (or even if we don’t) they will probably nuke themselves (if they actually have a program) before they nuke anybody else.

They can say Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East, but Benjamin Netanyahu has been prime minister for 12 years which is much more reminiscent of an African government than a western democracy.

Hang out with accusers and it will be like hanging out with Satan himself.

My final tweet was a reference to the Seminoles because I am part Seminole.

My mom thought God created everything exactly like she saw it and the earth was young and my dad thought God might have used evolution in some way, shape or form, but he didn’t know.

My mom took me to the Institute for Creation Research (ICR) with my friends and she drove on a school trip. Before they moved to Texas, they were in nearby Santee, California.

When I was homeless and needed some water once in a while 7-11 or somewhere would eventually object. As an organic vegetarian they typically have nothing I eat or want. I think they did it because too many people were doing it or because the water was bad. Sometimes I would tell them that people seeing me enter their business and be in their business was like an advertisement and drawing people inside to buy things. They didn’t seem to go for it though.

Whenever I look at my body I hate your guts for what you did to it, Jesus

Your God is a terrible example just like you.

If I can’t tell the difference between my your help and your interference, then I’ll pass.

Don’t take your poor decision-making out on others.

As soon as you say you are religious I want absolutely nothing to do with you because I know you are a liar or a fool and I don’t have time for nonsense or people inspired by nonsense.

You are better off with AIDS than religion.

Reportedly, more than 440 people were arrested for breaking the law at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021.

The entire 7-8 year time that I lived on the street without a home I asked zero people for money, food, etc. In fact, I gave money, food and all sorts of things away to the homeless. I am proud of these facts too because I have plenty of rich family members (including my mom and dad) and friends that I could have asked for money.

Some of my friends at Christian schools were not allowed to hang out with me because of my father. They didn’t want their kids around him.

How are my poor publicists (gossipers)?

If a woman and her cat have a skin condition do they eat the same diet?

My anxiety was genetic and acquired courtesy of my father.

My dad coached my varsity high school soccer team for three years when I played and I was good enough and he pushed me hard enough that nobody thought I was given my position. In fact, he openly and blatantly pushed me harder than everybody else. Fwiw I led East County San Diego in assists (mainly to Justin Demeree) my senior year despite painful injuries.

If you stutter you can work in I a few more times.

On the street I learned how to be as quiet as a mouse and patient.

I could be a comedy writer or doer.

Sometimes I get the feeling that President Biden may be upset about something else when he’s upset and reading a speech.

I don’t know what you are envisioning for the future, but try a few different things.

I don’t need anything from you and thinking I do is laughable.

June 1, 2021

In every religious setting there are people that want to manipulate religious people.

The media and the government do not control the conversation or the narrative.

If you want to make up for atrocities by Americans, then the conversation should always begin and end with Native Americans not blacks or Jews.

Repeating stupid things doesn’t make them smart things.

Men’s and women’s sports have been divided due to physiological makeup to make it fair for all. Perhaps transgender athletes should compete against transgender athletes or everybody should compete against everybody now or perhaps people should continue to compete against people with the same physiological makeup.

It’s hard to tell whether her bad ideas and missteps are her fault or her political party’s fault.

Some people share your views, but are too afraid to say so.

I think President Biden has approached the first four months of his presidency like he wants to do it for 8 years.

When I was in jail in 2011, I talked to my dad on the phone and he said somebody broke my window and might be in the house. He asked if he could enter and I said ok.

That was the last my dad mentioned the break-in. He did not call the police or make a police report. He did not interview witnesses or take pictures and got upset if I talked about it even though my most valuable possessions were stolen.

When he picked me up from jail, he would not drive me to my house. He drove me to a hotel and I stayed there after he took my temperature.

Dead men don’t pay rent.

When I was a kid, my parents supported an Asian family, so between about 7 and 14 years old (my earliest memories until I started high school) Charlie Tang was like a brother to me. We hung out all the time and he was a household name.

My Chinese-American friend Charlie Tang was moved up a grade because they did not know his true age since his family fled a war without his birth certificate. After 8th grade they put him in 10th grade and we went to different high schools about 25 miles apart. He left the Christian school system that we were brought up in and attended public school.

Some rental managers treat their renters like beta fish.

I don't care whether or not gay people get married. I was taught the Bible as a child and that homosexuality was wrong and God oradained marriage. However, I was taught a lot of wrong things and my parents believed a lot of myths. If gay people want to live together or get married I don't think it harms anybody.

My college pastor David St. John did not want me to be gay. He also didn’t want me having sex with all the college ladies. One time when we went out to eat he mocked Bob Marley as a spiritual leader and was shocked that my dad had the CD. We used the restroom together and he didn’t wash his hands and he said his pecker was clean. I did not ask for proof.

Pastor Howard Everett repeatedly told me to cut off my father in my 20s, but my father convinced me when I was young that anybody that wanted me to cut off him or my mom was crazy. However, Everett mentored me after I met him in college and I rented an office from his Southern Baptist Church, so he knew us well.

If you return to polluting the place like “normal” Greta Thunberg is gonna get in your face.

If President Trump was still in office he would have knocked COVID-19 out of the news a long time ago.

They're brain has space to rent.

They're like sad-ass cichlids.

If you weren't a terrible judge of yourself you'd be a better judge of others. June 2, 2021

“How dare you confront people about the things we hate.”

Some people feel like they depend on abusive people.

Most people are too unrighteous to confront unrighteousness.

Don’t trust anybody that says they are taking birth control. My ex-wife got pregnant on our honeymoon because she said she forgot to take her birth control pill.

People doing bad things do not want to be fearful, that may be the right reaction.

My former wife emigrated with her parents from Lebanon to California when she was 2 years old. Sarine and her younger sister Talar met white guys, had a baby and made off with the child. I wonder if that is the new American dream.

There is a certain dignity in knowing that you could squash somebody like a grape, but refraining from doing so.

I am concerned that sinners may not be repeating my best burns, Jesus

Imagine trying to remember somebody without pictures.

If I am not mistaken conservative Christians in Texas are trying to disadvantage liberal Christians by preventing them from voting before 1 p.m. on Sundays. Apparently this helps the Republicans and harms the Democrats and Republicans dominate the state government, so they could get away with it.

It is too bad that Donald Trump looks like a big fat loser instead of the bipartisan election security savior he could probably be if he actually cared about every vote.

“How are you?”
“I made a donation to the humane society and the next time your dog barks and cries for hours when you’re away I am going to give it to them. You?”

Some people try to torture others. Some people do it by accident.

Every well I have ever known has been poisoned, so I am not too concerned about yours.

People that do not like you do not care about the truth about you, so they will believe an unflattering lie.