Blog

Everyone should write about moving things that inspire them.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 5:23 PM HST - Posted by Jason

The Food Chain

The Food Chain
February 25, 2015

Stretched, scarred and wounded,
I don't care about swagger or your pride

Foolish, shameful and absurd,
you should change now and fight against the tide

Facts don't lie, they scream all day,
listen and think, learn how to pray,
the truth is out there, is it on your side?

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 5:10 PM HST - Posted by Jason

Killer Queens

They stunk on me again
and I could feel the pain
of someone stuck in a cage

Looking out,
nobody cares,
twitchy fools,
everybody stares

This Asian island,
a foreign place to me,
I flew hours to get here,
over the great blue sea

Now here I sit,
after they polluted on me again,
and they think they're really great,
while they committed another sin

Clueless, seemingly,
spewing all over me,
nobody helps or fixes it,
no one seems to give a shit

Smooth criminals
all look the same,
they think they're cool,
but they're actually lame

The clock is ticking,
to our eventual demise,
feeling all of the funk
polluting the big blue skies

No one is disciplined
and nobody is right,
no one is winning
this crazy uphill fight,
sometimes I win,
but try as I might,
it takes everything I have
to be and stay all right

Sunday, February 22, 2015 9:03 PM HST - Posted by Jason

Two Poems I Wrote at Waimea Bay

The America
February 22, 2015

Mind blown again,
one inspiring me,
not to take home,
but just to see

My demeanor, she saw,
like a brother, she knew,
it almost seemed
like I didn't know what to do,
but of course I did

A cool community,
looking out for all,
seared in my memory,
how she stood tall,
and I wonder how
I got so lucky
to get those looks
like she could fuck me


Aloha
February 22, 2015

Sad to leave
such a beautiful place,
braces and all,
what a beautiful face

Just temporary,
my visit to the sea,
I'll be back
before eternity

Sunday, February 22, 2015 10:01 AM HST - Posted by Jason

Oh My God, You

I wrote this poem on February 17, 2015.

Unrefined beauty,
young and such a cutie,
hardly audible,
when she spoke to me

Plain and covered,
curious and slow,
helping me know,
that she liked me

Expecting more,
she wrote and felt me,
I was consumed with her,
forgetting everybody,
next to her

Needing to know
how to be,
yearning to see,
I enjoyed her
and she enjoyed me

No judgment,
no fear,
time irrelevant,
feeling here,
purples, cats,
symbols, unpainted,
she was into me,
I could've fainted

The right type
to respect and love,
I want to see her again

Saturday, February 21, 2015 9:20 AM HST - Posted by Jason

Kaka'ako Wall Art























Sunday, February 15, 2015 3:30 PM HST - Posted by Jason

80 Day Diet

I am fasting today and tomorrow I will begin a new diet. Although it won't be easy, I am excited about it because I will lose some unwanted body fat, gain discipline and save some money. It will also make me quicker in the water, which is always good when you catch big waves!

A few years ago I wrote a book called, Do the Math Diet because I discovered a great system that helped me lose weight. On this diet, I could eat anything I wanted (although I found it even more imperative to eat healthy food), but I just had to count my calories. Every day, I counted the calories I ate and the calories I burned and I made sure that there was a deficit. After several months, I reached my goal weight and I even defined my abdominal muscles for the first time. I felt great and I learned a lot about my body and health in general.

I will create a nearly 500 calorie deficit each day, at least on average. At the very least, there will be some daily deficit for 80 days and when I'm done, I might decide to go longer. I will count all of the calories in everything I eat and I will also count all of the calories that I burn during exercise. Since I only eat organic food and I live in Hawaii, food is very expensive, so I will definitely save a few dollars every day. Since I'm on a budget, that will be useful.

On a typical day, I burn between 2,600-2,800 calories. Sometimes, like when I practice yoga or ride the exercise bike for three hours, I burn about 3,000 calories. I do not intend on changing my exercising habits, but I will adjust the amount of food that I consume.

Right now, I weigh about 165 pounds and I carry about 13% body fat. I know this because two days ago they measured my body fat and weighed me at 24 Hour Fitness. Fully dressed after a large breakfast, I weighed 167 pounds and I had 13.7% body fat.

I do not have a goal weight in mind and I won't weigh myself very often. However, like usual, I anticipate immediately losing some retained water weight and I will not be carrying the extra food that I typically do as I digest it. Also, I anticipate losing nearly a pound from today's fast which began last night and ends tomorrow morning.

I will have plenty of energy because I will eat lots of food from the major food groups every day. My normal diet is very healthy and I eat things like bananas, raisins, whole wheat bread, tofu, honey, black beans, peanut butter, apples and applesauce, sunflower seeds and stuff like that. Sometimes I'll eat a little granola, tortilla chips, chocolate, carrots or yogurt. For the past three years, everything I have eaten has been organic and I will continue on that path. I do not trust food that hasn't been certified USDA organic because the government has approved unhealthy and harmful food (e.g. hydrogenated oils, mono and gi glycerides, high fructose corn syrup, etc.) and they shouldn't have. They also allow growers and manufacturers to use harmful, chemical pesticides, insecticides, herbicides, genetically modified organisms, antibiotics and steroids. Those things are not allowed to be in organic food.

When I am finished with this diet in May, I will likely burn about 12 pounds of fat (which is roughly 500 calories x 80 days). I am not planning on fasting, but I might fast a little. There might also be some days when I create a larger calorie deficit. I anticipate my weight being around 150 when I am done. That will be a great body weight for me and I will look and feel great. I will also be in striking distance of 135-145 pounds, which might eventually be an optimal weight for me.

Wish me luck and good luck in your exercise and weight loss endeavors.

Sunday, February 15, 2015 1:50 PM HST - Posted by Jason

My 40 Favorite Saturday Night Live Cast Members




The comedy TV show Saturday Night Live has made me laugh a lot throughout the years. I know that not everyone thinks it's wholesome, but I tend to put no limits on comedy because I think it should fall under freedom of speech.

Since SNL is airing its 40th anniversary episode tonight, I decided to make a list of SNL cast members that made me laugh the hardest. It wasn't too difficult to choose them, but they reflect the years that I watched the show. In some cases, I liked and was more familiar with a cast member's movies (like Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase) than their acting on SNL.

Dana Carvey
Chris Farley
Phil Hartman
Amy Poehler
Eddie Murphy
Bill Murray
Adam Sandler
Norm MacDonald
Dennis Miller
David Spade
Will Farrell
Tina Fey
Steve Martin
Keenan Thompson
Darrell Hammond
Taran Killam
Seth Meyers
Jimmy Fallon
Kristen Wiig
Bill Hader
Fred Armisen
Jason Sudeikis
Chris Parnell
Tracy Morgan
Will Brewer
Chris Kattan
Alec Baldwin
Dan Aykroyd
Chevy Chase
Jim Belushi
Mike Myers
Chris Rock
Martin Short
Rachel Dratch
Will Forte
Colin Quinn
Maya Rudolph
Horatio Sanz
Molly Shannon
Ana Gasteyer

Saturday, February 14, 2015 7:55 PM HST - Posted by Jason

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Thursday, February 12, 2015 9:06 PM HST - Posted by Jason

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Wednesday, February 11, 2015 10:20 PM HST - Posted by Jason

My Trip to Waimea Bay, Hawaii


On Sunday, February 8, 2015, I visited the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii and I caught waves at world famous Waimea Bay. There was a heavy surf advisory and it was awesome.

A few days before my trip, I checked the surf report and I noticed a large swell approaching Hawaii. It said the waves would be a few feet overhead and the conditions would be clean on Sunday. Even though I was going to have to ride a bus for two hours to get there, I tweeted that I wanted to catch waves on the North Shore.

The next day, while I was at a cafe, one of my friends invited me to the North Shore with him on Sunday! He said he needed to go there for work and that he was driving, he could take me and that he would be there for 5-6 hours. It was the perfect opportunity, so I jumped on it.

On Sunday, I met Evgeny at the Ala Moana shopping mall in Honolulu and we went to the North Shore. While I was waiting, I penned a poem that I haven't published yet. Evgeny is from Russia and he has a Russian accent and loves the Motherland. He sells real estate and he needed to show a $1.6 million house to some people.

As we drove together, we talked about all sorts of things from politics to the environment to religion. No topics were off limits and it was interesting to get a mature Russian perspective on Russia, the United States, the world and everything else. In fact, we saw things quite similarly and we got along famously and respected each other as adults should. He reminded me a little of my friend Sergei who was a poet in Long Beach.

When I rode the bus to the North Shore, it took two hours and it drove around the east side of Oahu. I went to Pipeline, caught waves there and camped with my bike before taking the bus back to Honolulu. However, this time I did not bring my bike, I didn't camp and we drove around the west side of the island to get there and back.



We hit a little traffic and after almost an hour we passed Waimea Bay and Evgeny dropped me off at Pupukea Beach Park around noon. He said he would meet me back there at 5:30 p.m. and he said he would not leave me and I trusted him. I brought money for the bus, just in case I needed to ride it back to Honolulu. Since I was catching waves in the ocean and I couldn't be with my belongings, I left my laptop, wallet and backpack in Honolulu. I brought my bodyboard and fins in one bag and some clothes, suntan lotion, a hat, a towel and some other items in a small bag. I also brought two gallons of water, although I drank one on the way there.



Pupukea Beach was beautiful, but it didn't look like a good place to catch waves. There were rocks there, no lifeguard was on duty and nobody was in the water. However, I noticed people at Waimea Bay as we passed it, so I walked there. It was a flat, easy 10 minute walk.

At first glance, I wasn't very impressed with the waves, but after a few minutes, larger sets rolled in. Like some of my sessions in the past, I didn't fully understand or respect the waves' power and energy until I was in the water.



Waimea Bay is a beach break and it was very big, so it was walling up with an infrequent corner. Even with an occasional corner, each ride typically ended in either getting tubed or thrashed because there was no good way to get off. They were just short rides in shallow water. The water wasn't quite as dangerously shallow as Sandy Beach, but it was still shallow.

One of my first rides resulted in me getting tossed into the sand and it jammed my right ankle. It hurt a little and felt like a sprain, but adrenaline took over and I didn't notice the pain until later. The swelling didn't affect my session, but it affected my walking later and it was a little sore and stiff for the next two days. It even eventually made my upper left calf sore for overcompensating.

This was my first session since my brief session at Pipeline last month. Before that session, I hadn't caught waves for a couple of years. Consequently, I wasn't in great wave-catching shape. I was in good overall shape though, so I was able to paddle pretty fast.



Before I got in the water, I applied some suntan lotion and locked my belongings together with a cable and combination lock. Somebody was flying a drone with a camera around me and I jokingly thought it would make a good alibi.

I didn't miss too many waves that I wanted to catch and very few waves crashed on me as I quickly paddled out. I caught juicy lefts and tasty rights.

My session was intense and it lasted about an hour. Several people caught waves around me and most of them looked like locals. I think they noticed a fierce intensity in me that was absent from most of the wave-catchers.

No fiberglass surfboards were in the water, but a couple were on the beach and I figured they belonged to people who opted not to go in. Only one surfer with a foam surfboard tried to catch waves. He wiped out hard by me, which caused me to instinctively put one hand on my head and one hand in the air, in case his board was airborne when I popped my head out of the shoulder-deep water. Even though he got tossed, his board didn't hit me. I encouraged him by saying, "Don't worry. You'll get the next one." I didn't see him catch any good waves and I got the impression that the break wasn't very friendly for surfers. Later, his buddy was friendly to me and I figured he might have heard me being nice to his friend and wanted to return the favor.

I wasn't sure which way the current was moving, so after I found a good spot to wait for waves, I found a palm tree on the shore that I was even with. It turned out that there wasn't much of a current, so I didn't have to fight to stay in position. Eventually, after I noticed where the good waves were consistently breaking, I found a telephone pole on the adjacent shore and I tried to stay around that spot.

I got tubed a few times and I was tossed over the falls a few times too. Once or twice I yelled as I flew about eight or nine feet off the wave, but I laughed a lot too. I was stoked that I didn't get hurt, but a lot of saltwater went up my nose. After I finished my session, I blew my nose about 10 times and saltwater slowly came out of it for more than 24 hours.



On the small hill by the pole I used to gauge my position was a high tower with a cross on top of it. It might have been part of a church or a lighthouse. Later, it inspired part of a poem.

After my session, I was exhausted. The waves were reaching heights of 10' and the session took a lot out of me. I asked one of the locals how big he thought it was and he said about one or two feet. I assumed he meant 1-2 feet overhead, meaning about 7-8 feet. That sounded about right and I think there were a few larger sets too.

I spread out a striped bed sheet on the sand, scrubbed on a second coat of suntan lotion and fell asleep. After I awakened from my nap, I spoke to a nice girl that was nearby. I asked her what time it was and then we talked about all sorts of things. She was from South Carolina and she was there with a military guy who was her friend from South Carolina. However, she said that she was originally from the country of Colombia. They were living in Kailua, which was on the other side of the island. I mentioned that President Obama was recently there and visited Eddie Vedder, although there were no pictures and she didn't know anything about it.

Throughout the day, the lifeguard gave several very serious warnings over the loudspeaker. He said that parents should watch their kids closely because they could drown. He wasn't kidding and although I didn't see him make any rescues, it wasn't a good day for inexperienced swimmers to enter the water.



While I was at this beach, I saw some of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I was very impressed with the way they carried themselves and obviously took care of themselves. I always have extra respect for people who stay in fantastic shape and in a small bikini, it was obvious that they were amazing specimens. The women ranged in age from tan, local teenagers to white women in their 20s and 30s. Frankly, I was blown away, yet it didn't throw me off and I still considered them like sisters that I needed to look out for and befriend instead of lust after and use. That's just how I roll.



As I sat on the beach, I wrote poems.

Sandy Me

Amazing beauty
floated by me,
so gorgeous,
so free

She glided down
to the sea,
tan and lean,
nothing but poetry

You Know

Catching the biggest
waves of the day,
at world renowned
Waimea Bay

First, I jammed my ankle
Later, I discovered the Lord
and under the cross
I couldn't afford
to be slow

At about 5 p.m., I started walking back to the meeting spot. I wanted to get there a little early, so I didn't make Evgeny wait for me. It was a nice walk and the weather was still amazingly beautiful. Unfortunately, there were lots of stinky cars on the road.



I waited about 10 minutes at the spot and he arrived and was friendly as usual. I was fasting and I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I graciously accepted a fruit drink that he gave me. Although there was cane sugar in it, it was all natural and it tasted great. He also give me two large pomelos that I ate later. I had never eaten a pomelo, but they were juicy and yummy.

The ride back to the mall in Honolulu was uneventful, yet relaxing. The sun was setting on the west side of the island, over a large crater, and it was beautiful. We didn't hit any traffic and we made it back in about 45 minutes.

The trip couldn't have been much better or smoother and I don't think I could have asked for more. It was awesome and I hope to return soon.

Friday, February 6, 2015 6:06 PM HST - Posted by Jason

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Wednesday, February 4, 2015 10:50 AM HST - Posted by Jason

Pete Carroll's Final Super Bowl XLIX Call

Some people are saying that Head Coach Pete Carroll's call on 2nd down and goal in the 4th quarter of Super Bowl XLIX was a bad call. A few people are even saying it was the worst call in Super Bowl history and in the history of sports.

Despite what some people say, I think Pete Carroll made the right call and I have many reasons for my opinion.

In full disclosure, I am a San Diego Chargers football fan and I didn't really care who won the Super Bowl this year. Although I attended San Diego State University and I watched Marshall Faulk play amazing football in Jack Murphy Stadium (aka "The Murf"), I am not a college football fan and I have no opinion of Pete Carroll's coaching career or his teams. However, I have watched hundreds of NFL football games and I have attended countless Chargers home games because my father has had season tickets since before I was born.

The Seattle Seahawks were losing to the New England Patriots 28-24 with :26 seconds remaining in the game and Seattle had the ball at New England's 1 yard line. Quarterback Russell Wilson had just completed two passes, one for 11 yards and one for 33 yards and Marshawn Lynch ran it on first down and goal from the 5 yard line and did not get in the end zone.

On second down, with only one timeout left, the clock was moving and a pass was a good call. If Wilson would have thrown an incomplete pass, it would have brought up 3rd down and goal from the 1 yard line with about :20 seconds remaining in the game. That is a great position to be in. In four down territory, they could have ran the ball twice and even called a timeout in between runs, in case they didn't score on 3rd down.

If Wilson would have completed a pass without scoring a touchdown, Seattle could have called a timeout to stop the clock. At that point, the coach could have given Wilson two plays, so they wouldn't have had to huddle for a long time or rush in another play on 4th down.

In my opinion, Wilson made a terrible mistake and the Patriots' defense made a great play. If Wilson would have looked off Ricardo Lockette or pump faked, he probably would have gotten a different result. Instead, Malcolm Butler read Wilson's body language, knew where he was throwing the ball and picked it off.

Pete Carroll shouldn't be the scapegoat. Wilson could have made a better play. He could have ran it in or he could have thrown it to another receiver too. One yard equals three feet and Russell Wilson is almost 6 feet tall. Therefore, he could have fallen forward and scored.

Wilson should have seen Butler and he shouldn't have thrown the interception. If nobody was open, instead of making a risky play, he could have thrown it through the back of the end zone and he and his team would have gotten two more downs to score.

I think it's easier for fans to blame a coach than a player. Good coaches are often contrite and don't mind taking most of the blame for losses. However, I don't think Pete Carroll's call was bad. I think the execution of the play was poor and that Wilson needs to improve his game. Every star wants the ball when the game is on the line, but unfortunately not everybody knows what to do with it or has the ability to do what they need to do with it.

Since Wilson is just 26 years old, he will likely have many more opportunities to redeem himself. Hopefully he doesn't let this error become a stumbling block for future success.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015 8:20 AM HST - Posted by Jason

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Tuesday, February 3, 2015 7:03 AM HST - Posted by Jason

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Monday, February 2, 2015 4:24 PM HST - Posted by Jason

Jimmy the Groundhog bites Wisconsin mayor


Monday, February 2, 2015 12:33 PM HST - Posted by Jason

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Blue Hawaiian Gumamela